A L & G Abbott Funeral Directors, Kempston, Bedfordshire, an independent family business that has been serving the Bedfordshire Community for over 175 years - funeral directors in Kempston, funeral directors in Bedfordshire, funeral directors in Ampthill, funeral directors in Aspley Guise, funeral directors in Bromham, funeral directors in Brogborough, funeral directors in Cardington, funeral directors in Carlton, funeral directors in Clapham, funeral directors in Clophill, funeral directors in Cople, funeral directors in Cranfield, funeral directors in Elstow, funeral directors in Flitwick, funeral directors in Great Barford, funeral directors in Harrold, funeral directors in Houghton Conquest, funeral directors in Husborne Crawley, funeral directors in Lidlington, funeral directors in Marston Moreteyne, funeral directors in Millbrook, funeral directors in Milton Ernest, funeral directors in Maulden, funeral directors in Oakley, funeral directors in Pavenham, funeral directors in Ravensden, funeral directors in Renhold, funeral directors in Ridgmont, funeral directors in Silsoe, funeral directors in Stagsden, funeral directors in Stewartby, funeral directors in Turvey, funeral directors in Willington, funeral directors in Wilstead, funeral directors in Woburn Sands, funeral directors in Woburn, funeral directors in Wootton, private rest chapels, prepaid funeral plans, 24hour service, floral tributes, memorial service, traditional funerals, woodland burials, cremations, civil ceremonies>

Practical Guidance

As the death of a loved one is a bewildering and distressing time; knowing what steps to take and in which order to take them can be a daunting and confusing process.
We have compiled a list of issues to deal with in the event of bereavement:

Death in a Hospital

Once the Medical Certificate of Death is made available, registration of death and funeral arrangements can go ahead. A relative or person present should register the death at the local Register Office and Funeral Directors should be contacted.

Death in a Care Home

The Care Home will contact next of kin and inform them where the Medical Certificate of Death may be collected. The death should then be registered at the local Register Office and Funeral Directors should be contacted.

Death at Home

The G.P of the deceased should be contacted immediately.

The G.P will then give permission for registration of the death and for Abbotts as your Funeral Directors, to be contacted and for the deceased to be taken to our Chapel of Rest in Kempston

If death is unexpected, the G.P will inform the Coroner. The Coroner will later contact the next of kin to authorise registration of death and release of the body, at which point Abbotts, as your Funeral Directors, should be contacted.

Registering a Death

Every death has to be registered in the area where it happened, but you can arrange to register it in another area. To register the death you need to have a simple interview with the registrar at the Register Office. You will need to give the registrar:

the full name of the person who has died;
their full address;
their date of birth;
details of where and when the person died;
and their occupation (if any).

If the person who has died is a married woman, you will also need to give her maiden name and her husband’s full name and occupation.

You will also need to take along the ‘certificate of cause of death’ which the GP or hospital doctor gave you.

If the coroner (England and Wales) or procurator fiscal (Scotland) is involved (that is, if there has been or will be a postmortem or an inquest) there will be no certificate of cause of death and they will tell you when you can register the death. In some exceptional cases you may have to delay your plans for the funeral.

The following people can register the death.

Any relative of the person who has died.
Any person present at the death.
The person who lives in the house where the person died.
The person arranging the funeral, but not a funeral director.

The registrar will give you a green certificate which you should give to us as soon as possible. They will also give you a white certificate which you should fill in and send to the social security office for the area where the person died.

You can buy copies of the ‘entry of death’ (often known as the death certificate) from the registrar. You will need these for official purposes such as closing bank accounts and pension schemes.

Who you may need to contact following a bereavement

Employer...General Practitioner...Pension Providers...Insurance Companies
Solicitor...Bank...Building Society...Post Office Accounts...Stocks and Shares
Benefits Agency...Passport Office...Driving Licence (DVLA)...Clubs and Societies
Dentist...Optician...Car Ownership details...Gas...Electricity...Water...Telephone

Social Security Help

You may be able to obtain help from the social fund to contribute towards the cost of the funeral. In most cases it is unlikely that the amount paid by the social fund will cover the total cost of the funeral.

If you are responsible for arranging the funeral and you or your partner are receiving:

1. Income Support
2. Income Based Jobseekers Allowance
3. Pension Credit
4. Housing Benefit
5. Council Tax Benefit
6. Child Tax Credit, which includes an amount higher than the family element
7. Working Tax Credit where a disability or severe disability element is included in the award

Clients should check with the DWP as to which benefits apply. For more information contact your local DWP office or www.dwp.gov.uk

The Registrar will provide you with a White Certificate of Registration of Death (Form BD8) which is required to claim any Social Fund Benefit and should be taken to your local Department of Works and Pensions Office, together with the following documents (if they are to hand or can be obtained easily)

The deceased's Birth Certificate.
Social Fund Claim Form (SF 200).
The Marriage Certificate (if applicable).
National Insurance Contribution Card.
Any DWP Pension or Allowance Books.
The final bill for the Funeral - issued by us.

A claim should be made within three months after death but it is advisable to lodge the claim as soon as possible even if all the documents are not available. Any payment from the fund will normally be paid within ten days and is usually a Giro.

The Social Fund payment is not part of deceased person's estate and therefore is not liable for inheritance tax. Any funeral payment which is made can be recovered by the DWP should funds become available from the deceased estate.

Helping the Bereaved

Many people find coping with bereaved family and friends an awkward and difficult time. Everyone knows the stories of people who would rather cross the street than face what they feel would be a potentially embarrassing conversation with someone who has been recently bereaved.

Make Contact

It is very important to make contact as soon as possible. Contact the bereaved person immediately to tell them how sorry you are to hear of their loss. Send a letter or card and flowers if appropriate. Most bereaved people say that reading the letters and cards they receive provides valuable support and comfort, particularly during the many sleepless nights they endure.

You may worry that your words seem rather banal or trite, but they often take on a deeper significance and offer a degree of consolation in the heightened emotions of bereavement.

Maintain Contact

Keep the contact going with visits, phone calls and letters, particularly as the weeks and months pass by. Often levels of support can fall away in the months after a bereavement, but this is the time when the bereaved can be the loneliest and most vulnerable. Six months is recognised as being a particularly vulnerable time, as it is about this time that the reality of the loss hits home and yet others are assuming that by this stage, people are over the worst.

Continue to invite them to events and functions which you would have previously. They can always say no, but don't make that assumption yourself.

Listen And Let The Bereaved Person Talk

Talking is recognised as one of the most important elements in the grieving and healing process. Let the bereaved person talk about the person who has died and don't be embarrassed by their tears and anger.

Talk About The Person Who Has Died

Many people feel that they shouldn't talk about the person that has died as this will bring on another wave of grief. However most bereaved people say that they find it hurtful if the deceased is not mentioned, almost as if they had never existed. Remember happy times, things they liked or didn't like, funny things they said. It all helps to keep the memories strong and bring some comfort.

Offer Practical Help

Consider what practical support you can offer, such as taking a cooked meal, taking care of the children, shopping or helping with any funeral arrangements. Try and maintain regular help for as long as needed or possible but try not to make promises that you are unable to keep.

Don't say "Give me a call if you need anything", help needs to be freely given without the bereaved person having to ask for it - make regular contact and make a date to have the bereaved person/family around for a coffee, Sunday lunch, take the children out, or make an extra cake and drop it round.

Be Aware Of Significant Dates And Anniversaries

Family times such as Christmas and birthdays as well as anniversaries of the death are a particularly difficult and traumatic time for the bereaved and need to be treated with sensitivity, particularly the first few times they come around.

Helping Children

Once adults tried to shield children from death, but modern day understanding is that avoidance is a recipe for disaster - especially for a child. Like all of us, children need to understand that death is a natural part of life, just as birth is and two charities in particular are very able to help children, parents and families through the grieving process with professional carers, helpful publications and activities.

Helpful Reading

Waterbugs and Dragonflies by Doris Stickney - Continuum International Publishing Group - Mowbray/August 1997

Specially aimed at children, it helps to explain death through the analogy of the waterbugs short life under water and their emergence as dragonflies as the human's life after death.